I am very competitive. But I don't enjoy it.
Story time.
This might make even less sense than usual 'cause I'm terribly exhausted, but I don't want to lose the habit.
I've been slowly going back to my routine, and its been brain-wracking. It feels as though there are a million things I need to get done and yet I have no idea how to prioritize any of them. Feels great though. A real "baby I'm back" sensation.
Day 4 of bedrest. Was going insane. I'm better now.
So far, this has been a good film year for me.
I know it sounds moronic given the title of this entry, but I've been wondering whether I should keep an actual diary. Not necessarily pen-and-paper (this enterprise has failed over and over) but a diary-like input in this blog. Something that is spontaneous and intimate, truly. Like this entry. Even my "diary entries" have been somewhat curated, especially the ones that have pictures. I take care of my grammar, my prose, my lexis. What I mean by "keeping a diary" is taking 10 minutes every few days to write thoughts and daily occurrences without delaying them (as I often do), and unveiling thoughts meant for intimacy.
I know online isn't precisely intimate. BUT. Nobody actually read this, and also even if a few people did, I feel it would be good to unveil my thoughts/feelings in a less direct way. I'm too brick-walled in anyways.
So. Keeping a diary?
This was my first experiment in doing so.
I hope it works.
One of my existential pet peeves is how easy it is for humans to reproduce.
Surely this at some point constituted an evolutionary advantage, but nowadays it seems more like a curse to humanity than anything else.
I have the utmost respect for (fine) parenting, but sadly that is the least of what I see nowadays.
Three (haunting) memories have engraved themselves in my mind:
... Spoiler alert: is its script.
I've realized I love essay writing, blog writing, think pieces, and non-fiction writing overall.
So I won a (tiny) grant for undergraduate research, for which I have to write an article. As you may or may not know, I actually love writing. Yes, even academic writing. I think I'm good at it, and I have a grand time doing it.
The only problem is, I've never done it with publication in mind.
And, as it turns out, it's terrifying.
A very quickie update to gush about my new obsession.
Hello, I'm Roxie!